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Old May 21, 2010, 09:22 PM
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Evening Evening is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: I come from a land downunder
Posts: 1,448
Being 22 myself, it wasn't long ago that I was a teenager.
The thing that I think is the problem- lack of education. Especially on the topic of sex. You want to know what my sex education was? Sitting on the floor putting condoms on chair legs, and being told that the ONLY way you can catch AIDS is through blood (example by teacher- if you catch AIDS through sex it means people have to have an injury in that area). We were even paired up with people we didn't like in the class once and had to discuss certain topics like our own relationships and views.
Needless to say half my friends have children now.

I am touchy when it comes to the label teenagers get, because I was unfairly labeled myself. I have never drank, never smoked, never done drugs, never had sex, but OF COURSE I must have because of how old I was. Before I moved out of home my mother and I always had fights because of her addiction and one day I said that maybe if she wasn't such a ***** I wouldn't exist. If anyone has ever called my mother a slut or a ***** you know that goes down. So she called her friend to have a sook and of all things, her friend suggested that I am on drugs. Not because I was being abused or neglected, but because I am on drugs.
Even when I moved out at 17 my neighbour didn't like me instantly because of my age, she thought I was up to no good. She thought I was going to throw parties and be hassle for her, so she always came over whenever there was noise from my house. She even told me I should be living at home with my parents.
Once I was using the payphone at the shops and 2 women who needed to use the phone stood there and had a good old ***** about me within earshot because I had OBVIOUSLY been on the phone for too long talking to my friends 'how long has she been on there for?' 'I don't know, probably ages' 'excuse me, you need to get of the phone or I'll make a complaint to the manager of the centre and they'll come and deal with you'. I was just trying to make a doctors appointment, pardon me for being a teenager, maybe I'll get my MOTHER to call when she wakes up off the floor next time.

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. It was years ago and to this day it hurts so much to think about. And I think that may be one of the reasons teenagers act the way they do, because they get labeled, and it can kind of tip you on the edge when you know you haven't done anything wrong. Or maybe they have done something wrong. There could be a reason they are acting that way. More work needs to be done to deal with these people in a fair way that doesn't make them feel the need to get defensive.
I definitely think that a lot of teenagers need to be sorted out, the attitude of a lot of them is unbelievable, but for a lot of them there is a bigger cause to the problem, and for a lot of them, well they frankly haven't even done anything.

People have become lazy when it comes to dealing with and educating teenagers. Of course they are going to rebel, the point of being a teenager is to become your own person so you can be a successful adult.

And work needs to be done with the influences they have and self image. These days girls are meant to be thin. If they aren't thin they aren't good enough. I used to be a stick, and people always commented on my appearance, my hair, my size. My friends would even compare me to people I had never even met as to who was thinner, which of course made me feel as though I had to lose weight. Of course as soon as I gained weight people got nasty, and I don't get comments on my appearance the way I used to. People don't tell me I'm pretty and that I should be a model the way they used to. I'm not even fat. (Having said that I can't stand comments on my appearance, it's just to make a point that if you aren't thin you aren't good enough).

It's even the things girls read, I used to read magazines when I was younger, but I stopped after they changed. Back in the 90's when I was reading them they were great, I still have all my old copies. But now they are picking on celebrities, writing articles like 'what makes a girl a skank?' and- this was the LAST straw for me- a step by step guide on how masturbate to have an orgasm. This is something 12 year olds read. THAT'S the influence they have.

A lot of girls are manipulated into having sex, and a lot of people have excuses. The best I ever heard was probably 'I don't want to die a virgin, you never know when you're gonna go'. Now they all have kids.
I was harassed sexually at school because I grew up physically faster than the others, so guys made comments. It was humiliating, as if I don't have enough self image issues as it is. One guy in particular made my life hell and even harassed me in drama while I was standing in front of the class. I had to copy something he had done, so he grabbed his chest because he knew I'd have to touch myself in front of everyone. I said I wasn't going to do it, and I didn't. I knew what he was doing and so did everyone else. I had to stand there while people where whispering.
I'm no prude, but I do think a lot of respect for sex has gone. People just do it because it's good. At 16, while I don't think teenagers are clueless to being in love with someone, they are more vulnerable to being manipulated into a situation that seems okay at the time. Especially with the amount of drugs and alcohol that is done. And a lot of the time it is parents who are supplying that. They are just as clueless to what these substances do. Alcohol for a 15 year old is NOT okay for so many reasons.

And I might just point this out. In Australia the legal age for sex is 16. But the legal age to look at pornography, even a Playboy, is 18. So teenagers are allowed to have sex and be exposed to diseases, AIDS, pregnancy and being taken advantage of 2 years before they are legally allowed to look a a magazine.

I think a lot of work needs to be done, but we can't fully blame THEM can we?
Thanks for this!
lynn P., Shangrala