I'm in the exact same position and it is tearing me up thinking about it, and I'm almost 19. Well, I've kissed a boy, but it's overated. I'm sure it's a much better experience when it's the right guy. Anyway, I thought I would change and experience so much more within my first year of college, but I may as well be the same person I was a year ago. Sorry, wish I could be more help. Byzantine gave good advise. Maybe people like you and me need to try to be more spontaneous.