now i just hate everything in life, so much hatred in me. im very tired of this. i dont believe in God anymore, i dont know what/who should i believe in this life. everything is a lie to me, this whole life is a lie, and i hate to think about that everyday. i cant help myself. i feel like crying right now, cause there's nothing more i can do. im in a dead-end situation. i cant ask someone for a help, nobody will able to help me if i cant help myself, i realized that. just so tired. its like no words can describe my feelings anymore