lily, there is no way for her to know what you think unless you speak about it in your words. Just as there is no way for you to know what she thinks unless she speaks about it, or any of us to know what someone else thinks. I can tell you from much experience how much energy is needed and anguish is created when I guess and speculate. I also like to think, to have time free of activities and responsibilities where I can just think, reflect. I do have to be careful that I don't let it become something else, like trying to figure something out totally in my head when it isn't possible because I (we, anyone) can't construct real interactions with others in my head, only my constructs. Yet, even if I do this and catch myself and don't demean it by judging it, I can find my wishes and hopes and worries in what I have constructed, fantasized.

Loving the therapy relationship is a healthy, wonderful, mind expanding experience.
You're doing fine. Keep talking