((((Kiya))))
I think there ARE words for it, some of it anyway, and you are doing a great job of putting your thoughts and feelings into words right here. I certainly understand what you are going through, and I wish there was a T or somebody you could call to talk to this weekend.

But you know there is always someone here at PC, and we understand, and we care. You are doing such hard work, Kiya. And you're getting through it. Just keep breathing.