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May 22, 2010, 04:00 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: in a whirlwind
Posts: 587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solarwind
1. if I was older and T was closer to my age, would i have transference that is more like friend or like sibling?
2. why would i have positive mother transference when i had no positive mother experience? is it because that is what i want? like i want T to be my mom because she is so nice even though i don't really know what a "good mom" is???
3. does transference change with time? so if i stayed with T for lots of years, would i stop having mother transference and have something else?
4. does transference go away? is that the point of therapy--to make it go away?
5. does a T know and manipulate the transference? so does a T do things to keep the transference positive in the beginning to build a relationship and then later does things to let it go however it wants? see what i mean?
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1. I'm basically the same age as my male T, yet my initial transference experience was just like when I was 20 and "loved" my professor (married, 50 yr old, 2 teenagers, etc).
2. For me, my transference is entirely about finding replacement parents.
3. My transference with my T has mellowed quite a bit - last spring it was all goofy-girly, in the fall it was pure love and then it became deep trust.
4. With my HS teachers or college prof, it faded over time because I didn't see them anymore. I'm glad that with my T it has mellowed because it really felt BIZARRO since I am married! The point of therapy is to work on your issues - for me, one of my issues is not having a close relationship with my parents and wishing it was different.
5. My T is completely clueless about how to use the positive transference/attachment. He seems able to handle it when I get angry with negative transference, bleah. If your T is OR is not using the transference relationship as a tool in therapy, it should be something you are told (ex: I'm going to try this to use the transference or I'm not sure what to do with transference, but I'd like to try this instead since I'm good at this)
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