Marriage counseling? Personal counseling? Do you think maybe you're depressed or maybe a narcissist? I understand now that narcissism may not be a choice really, but more of a brain disfunction. We don't hate the scizophrenic or the epileptic anymore, so if narcissism is another brain dysfunction, then you can't help being selfish and self-focused. Do you want to stay married? I think if you are going to be sexually engaged with someone other than your spouse, then you should at least let them know and give them a chance to decide if they want to remain in that kind of a relationship. I know it works fine for some people, but it can be a crushing devastating experience for the spouse that has no idea at all about what is really happening.

I felt like it was disrespectful, disloyal, deceitful. dishonest and depraved and it destroyed any feelings for my lying, cheating spouse and pretty much destroyed my self worth, which is stupid but it did.

I will be better off without the liar plus I won't have to worry now anymore about getting an AIDS test every six months.

I am probably not the most sensitive person to be attempting to answer your question. I still think maybe the only way for me to ever be at peace again is to completely check out, but I can't do that because then he wins. I want to take him to the cleaners first and ruin his life like he ruined mine. Oh, and I have some plans for ruining the Other Woman's life as well if possible, even though I know if it wasn't her, it would be someone else but it WAS her, and now she has to pay for her part of it.

MA, feeling vengeful tonight and not all that mentally healthy but what better place to post than here, right???