The hospital workers came over this evening.

We talked about hospital. Good news: if I do go into the hospital, I should be able to go back to the Pride unit in Summit where I was last time. I think that program was good for me.

They offered another alternative, a new program in NJ where they send someone to your house to try to keep you out of the hospital. They are going to try to set me up with that, if they can get someone over here by Monday. If they can't they want me to go into the hospital.

I felt very relieved when they were here to finally have some options.

Now I am back to nervous, stressed out, and very scared... but I think that's just the depression. I am worried about my job... can't simply say "don't think about that, get your depression under control" because if the job gets messed up I'll be in even worse shape with my bills which is what is stressing me out the most and aggravating my depression the most right now. Vicious cycle.

Hoping I can just sleep tonight and get through the weekend without worrying about it too much.