When I first learned about mindfulness I was elated b/c I became aware of all these things but utterly frustrated b/c I couldn't do a thing about it with no way to respond. It turns out that was the point of it. You don't have to act on them; the thoughts and feelings come and go and it is our choice to do something even if it is the choice to do nothing, they will still just come and go. We don't have to act on them but being aware of them helps us make better choices in the future.

My choices now involve doing what I can, moment by moment. I find though not functioning at someone's else's level (who definitely can do more), I do what I can and know that once upon a time not even that was possible. It is important to take credit for even those things no matter how small they may be especially since that time may come again. However, I do wish I could get away from the feeling of muddling through things too.

I know we all have things we'd like to work on. It definitely doesn't mean we're broken only that our strengths and weaknesses are coming through; we just have to find a way to adjust them, improve them or compensate for them. Being aware is the first step and mindfulness helps with that as annoying as it may be. Definitely hang in there.

PS RE: Balance, I'd go with the continuum, between everything in life, balance fluctuates; I just don't think it's possible to be in perfect balance. If it is, I'd love to know how!