pach... getting a dx officially makes you what is called "the identified patient" to the family. Just because no one else has a dx they have shared doesn't mean they don't have it. It's like my hearing... i'm so sick of doctors that i have refused to go see the audiologist, i don't want to get another dx... but it doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong with my ears, ya know?
families do weird things when there is an identified patient member... it's an actual documented dynamic.. check into it. Other members take comfort in the fact that "they are ok"... it's just the other person is nuts. It's not true, but it is a real dynamic.
people are so individual... abused people are more likely to committ acts of abuse, but it isn't a given at all. There are far more abused persons out there than abusers. So many factors come into play, everything from the physical and psych dynamics of an individual incident of abuse, to larger community and family dynamics. SO many factors... no two paths are the same.
if you were able to develop a real solid answer i think the world would be desperate to hear it... it would shed a lot of information on how to solve it.
some of us become self abusers, some of us become abusers of others, but the most of us become self-depreciating, deflated and struggling... what makes each of do one vs the other is just a mystery i think
idk... i know i could have easily learned to respond to others with violence, but instead i can't even kill bugs
Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
I confess I don't feel I have much insight into why some people abuse and others do not, even when they may have been abused themselves. In my case I had one parent who seemed to like us children, though he left when I was eight. His influence may have been enough to make the difference between me becoming abusive and not. Then too, children are all different from the beginning, and will react differently to similar stresses. I know my brothers reacted differently than I did, and I was the only one to develop a diagnosed mental illness. I think small beginnings can grow to large differences in outcomes. But this is not very specific as to what really makes the difference.  |
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