I feel it's the dynamics and how it effects us as the individuals that we are.

I come from a huge family, (10 kids). Although we are old...er now, my siblings still to this day title me as the black sheep of the bunch...fine with me. That's their issue, not mine.

Thing is, today, all 10 of us need therapy...no lie, but not one of them is willing to consider the thought, let alone obtain it. Their loss. They can struggle through the rest of theirs however they want to, but they are in no position to cast judgement upon another, which is about the only thing my siblings have in common.

My parents were not physically abusive, but certainly were not aware of how their tactics and strategy of raising us effected us individually.
What worked for one of us, certainly didn't for another, yet they were too busy attending to the "whole" that they were unable to focus on the individual.

Each one of us have our own disorder resulting from the same upbringing. It's how it effected us individually.
Example:

*A brother who suffers from "ImGod Syndrome" and manages to make the rest of us feel insignificant.
*A brother who is a womanizer and believes women are less of a person than men are.
*A brother who is suffering from severe anger issues and violent behavior.
*A brother who suffers from gambling and drug addiction, is a pathological liar.
*A brother who is in prison for the rest of his life for the abduction and disorderly sexual conduct of a minor, (and who has also sexually abused me as a child).
*I suffer from depression, fear of failure and the need to fix people to the point that I deny my own needs.
*A brother who has a fixation on his sister and cannot manage a real relationship.
*A sister who is so severely depressed that she's given up on life.
*A sister who is so obnoxiously obsessive that visiting her at her home is too uncomfortable.
*A brother who is emotionally removed entirely from the entire whole, including his own family.

Ironic how I'm the one they see as the black sheep, yet the only one of us who has taken the step of acknowledging, obtaining help and seeking recovery.
I think maybe it's a matter of wanting to break the cycle and obtaining the understanding of how to do it?

Shangrala