((((WP)))) ((((zoo))))

Maybe you're right, WePow, that I need to feel these emotions fully. I'm just afraid that feeling them fully will make me lose my ability to control myself. I get so overcome with my emotions sometimes and it feels like if I let myself feel them they will take over. It's really important that I maintain my control over my reactions to this.. I don't want to drive this guy away. Is it safe to feel these emotions? What if I lose control of myself?

Thanks for the support ((((zoo)))).. I do think noticing this pattern and really thinking and working hard to change it is a HUGE step in my healing and vitally important to my therapy. I'm glad I have my T to work through this with me.

After a conversation with my sister today, I think I might initiate the next date.. she said I should have complete control of the next date we have together and that will help me get my power back. Maybe she is right.

Will someone tell me:

Is this pushy, to set up the next date?

If we've been seeing each other once a week, and I initiate the next date earlier than the once/week thing we've been doing, is that going to make me seem clingy? Is it going to let him know I'm vulnerable?

How long should I wait? Am I rushing things?

How do you know if a guy has good intentions? What conversation do you have to assess how serious someone is about you? My emotions are so haywire right now, and it would crush me to think that he was just seeing this as a casual thing.

I just can't stop thinking about this.. I'm in full-on obsession mode right now but I've been strong and haven't called him or freaked out or anything.. someone keep me sane.. this is EXACTLY the point where I've always fallen off the deep end before in relationships. I am so messed up about this stuff.

I REALLY want to just go with the flow.. but I can feel all my nerves firing like crazy. It's like my brain is short-circuiting and I feel I am in danger. I need to run away but there's no place to go.. I need to freak out but I don't want the consequences of that. I'm so agitated.. biting my nails, twitching, pacing around the house.. nothing calms me down, nothing makes me feel okay.. feel like I'm about to fall of the edge of a cliff. He's all I can think about. I am so freaking scared right now. I'm crawling out of my skin.