Perna- Hm, this is interesting you say this, it is also what my T says! I've really been fighting any connection, trying to power through with my usual self- reliance/ shutdown. Yes I know that wehen I can connect with others- friend and T- and here at PC, it's healing. Sometimes it's easier to belive observations when they come from a more impartial observer, with nothing to benefit.

As for the phone, my clip broke off, so it could have been in any one of 8 places- it was really hard to call up/ go to all those places and admit that I 'screwed up' that's really how it felt at the time- now that I have more distance, I can have a bit of compassion, certianly I'm not the first person to lose a cell phone!

Interesting idea to use the loss of the phone as I would a dream- and your last interpetation hit pretty close to home. I really have been struggling with what I give to others/ myself and how to make that balance a bit more equal.

Thanks for your observations, perhaps I will stick with the twice a week format just a little longer- T did say that she had openings early in the week if I wanted to make one. Now it's just getting over the feeling as if she 'won'