Quote:
Originally Posted by (JD)
It's never ok.
Everyone has value and deserves being treated with some respect, even when not acting their best.
You can't change other people, but you can change yourself. Acting out and throwing temper tantrums are evidence of immaturity in relationships ... hello? How can you know how to talk like an adult when you haven't had a good teacher --yet?
Work to improve your responses, try to view her abuse as a disorder that she has, and that while your own actions are not mature, they don't warrant abusive responses (no sense in an adult not acting like one.)
You can try to be the adult in the situation, but that carries so much with it....
Try sitting down and discussing something of small importance first, write down anything you agree upon, try to keep your voice calm, not call names or poke her buttons, ask she address the topic and not blame anyone... 
You need to break the cycle if you can ... but you can with help.  |
Thats what I did when I was a kid most of the time, I was the adult trying to calm her down. But you are right. Stopping now isnt going to make things easier.
I guess im just tired of being grown up and responsible. I have never called my mother one name in my life, although oh boy....DO I WANT TO.
I usually dont poke her buttons. My rage usually comes out of annoyance.
Like waking me up at 7AM DEMANDING I get her a bacon egg and cheese.
I get annoyed and tell her to at least let me take a shower....and ..then the fight starts.
But with this whole "cleaning room" thing, it is a temper tantrum and I will take your advice on trying not to escalate it further.