Hello, Donna. One of my therapists called it gunnysacking.
Gunnysacking is a metaphor used in
conflict resolution that involves the act of "storing up" grievances acquired in the course of a relationship without systematically resolving them. The term may alternately refer to act of verbally bringing up past grievances (ie. dumping the contents of the sack) during the process of trying to resolve some present problem in a relationship. In which case, gunnysacking (as a tactic) has the dual effect of raising additional problems (in what is typically already a volatile situation) and presents an obstacle to dealing with the current issues.
Fortunately, your husband seems understanding and appears to have got the point.
http://www.medicinenet.com/tension_headache/article.htm
Hope things turn out for the best, Donna.