I don't have much to add, except that you seem concerned that your wife does not understand where you're at and doesn't believe in talking to a professional. When you are physically sick (cold, cough...) you go to see a doctor - don't view this as anything else.
I always feel I owe it to myself and my relationship to see a doctor and keep up with any medication and therapy I may be prescribed. I'm not entirely open with my boyfriend, but see my psychiatrist during work hours. This works for me, and I feel at least he doesn't have to walk this path with me too. I just tell him one or 2 pertinent facts he needs to know about me and bipolar.
I think that leaving bipolar untreated is not fair on anyone.

Also - please don't jump to any diagnosis until you have seen a professional