I went a few days without having obsessive thoughts or fantasizing but I have slowly given in...i spend most of my time in my head..y real life is put on old and i do not move forward with any set goal...WHEN i stop having the thoughts or i talk about them out loud i feel paranoid...like i am being watched...i hate that feeling cause then i just give in and start fantasizing even more...i am still feeling inadequate....i want to change my entire childhood just to please others cause i think they'll think better of me and accept me if i was raised by them or was from their home....my sleeping is still irregular..i was awake for hours last night and was very anxious cause i thought someone was going to take me from my bed....i think i am suffering from ptsd because of the abuse from my brother...i also think i a bipolar......my mood swings suck....i can be happy/fun one moment then sad/antisocial the next...when i am sad i keep dwelling on negative thoughts and i cannot get the ouut of my head..i hate this