thanks Perna and Lynn, this weekend for example, I explained the calendar system with my husband. So we went to the store and 3 y/o threw fit before we got there. Then when we did get there he had to walk in front. then daddy had to hold him, then daddy had to push the cart. to the point that if daddy went away from the cart and I started to push it: meltdown. So we got NOTHING we needed from the store but instead daddy went and picked out a kite for each of the boys and a toy for 3 y/o also. I had to put my foot down on that one. I didnt want him buying the kites but because they already picked them out I insisted the other toy and the spongebob stickers were to go to the top of my closet until 3 y/o earned them. The kite he destroyed in less than an hour anyways. The good news is he was better yesterday. He actually earned a sticker which I really thought was impossible. Now today is a different story. But I feel a victory from yesterday. Thanks guys!