thank you cris and trinity.

i wanted to share some more thoughts on last night... maybe see if anyone has any suggestions for how i can be supportive to rosie. we got to spend the evening together after i got back from work, and i'm really glad too.

we had some time to chat online while i was at work, and i think that can be helpful because talking about things through writing is very different than talking in person sometimes. rosie told me that she was having a harder time staying occupied, but that was unusual for her. she said that she was feeling different than usual, but couldn't really describe how. she also mentioned that she feels a little more grown up than before. i think maybe she is doing some growing up, and this may be a transition period in her life.

have any of you had experiences with alters growing up? any suggestions on how to be supportive of this?


also, the last relationship my partner was in was actually quite damaging to all of them in her system. the previous partner was a good friend of mine for a number of years... but i had a falling out with her around their breakup too because i had been treated poorly in the friendship and it had taken me so long to even realize that i was being abused by a friend. i think she had/has issues with BPD that haven't been addressed. she had major issues interacting with people. very manipulative. and that person had relationships with my partner's alters as well. only it wasn't healthy. she thought the whole DID thing was really cool. but i seriously think she didn't totally understand it. she was caring about all the other people, but she often coaxed them out when she wanted to be with them. she manipulated them. she basically used them with the cover of being a friend and partner. though she made them feel like real people, she acted in ways that were not safe. she was intimate with rosie, and that was really wrong. rosie has had a lot of conflicting feelings from that... and i want to help her know that she does deserve respect. i will love her and respect her for who she is, not who i want her to be. i want her to know it is ok to be who she is, and she deserves safety and happiness and health.

anyway... i have been trying to help rosie talk through her feelings about that relationship, and other abusive things she was told. last night i learned that rosie thinks there are things about her, characteristics (her word) like her child-like innocence and eagerness to please, that make it impossible for other people to resist using her body for their pleasure. (i'm sure a lot of that came from her childhood abuser/s) i understand how abusers can coerce that way of thinking onto people, and it's not ok. my "ex-friend" told rosie she liked her a lot, and that she was so pretty she couldn't help herself. that's a really terrible thing to say!! and i dont think she understood at all how terrible that is, especially from someone with a background of massive abuse as well.

i am glad that rosie is talking about her feelings of growing up. she feels less child-like. but i still want to address the fact that it was not her fault that bad things happened to her. she can be herself, and she still deserves respect. other people never have the right to do what they want. it's wrong to abuse people like that, especially children.

so... any thoughts on these things would be helpful. i am just so grateful that i got a chance to talk to rosie last night, especially about these issues. i have had the feeling that she really needed to talk through the things in her life, and since she's been away for so long I was feeling concerned for her health. i know she will be ok. i am so happy she is in my life.