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Old May 24, 2010, 12:49 PM
leah0306's Avatar
leah0306 leah0306 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: alabama
Posts: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by perpetuallysad View Post
I'm manic. I knew it was coming, it always does at this time of year. And, for the record, I don't have fun, I'm the queen of the world mania, I have crappy, I know everything and everyone else is a dumbass and everything on the face of the earth is a trigger and I cannot even really get on here because I find myself about to say too much and I just keep typing out responses and then having to delete them because do you all really want to hear me spout my know it all ********? I think not.

And about 2-3 weeks ago my darling husband (who's driving me insane) talked me into a fish tank. So we have a very small, 5 gal tank with a few fish and I find that I am absolutely hysterically worried about these stupid fish. I cannot seem to acclimate the tank properly, though I've read about everything ever written on aquariums and I was trying to explain my anxiety about the tank to my husband who then says that I am reading too many things on the internet about it and that's what's upsetting me (DUH!) and I should just try to find one reliable source. So I tell him that I have narrowed it down to one particular site and I am trying to follow the advice and then he starts grilling me about how do I know that site is the best, why do I trust that particular author, on and on, I was having to justify everything. I seriously felt under attack and I finally screamed at him that he was making my anxiety worse and went to my room and cried my eyes out. Then I took a shower and decided I was going to leave, but my son saw me and wanted to go then I couldn't just leave because I didn't want anyone with me, I wanted to run away and now I am just... arg. ****, I know I am being mean to them, I cannot help it, I try to hold it in but they continuously do this **** that drives me insane and I seriously cannot control myself anymore. I CANNOT KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, I CANNOT SLOW DOWN MY BRAIN, I CANNOT BE NICE. Why didn't I just leave and run away when I had the chance? Now I am stuck. And I know this is a huge insane run-on sentence that pretty much makes no sense but I have to get some of this out or I am going to implode or explode.

hi, hang in there , for me the mania is a ***** too, only about two days is fun, the rest is hell, so irratible and pissed off, wishing you an easier time, try to do something just for yourself, damn the fish!! do take care,
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