Quote:
Originally Posted by wottesworthgurl
Sorry if this thread is kind of long........I'm going to share most of my life problems on here though.
So...my story is I'm a 12year old female..in the seventh grade..I have no friends at all and I feel like nobody cares about me. I am a very shy person, afraid of what others might think of me. I am also adopted and my race is white/black but I often tell people that I am hispanic. My brothers are both adopted also..one is indian..the other is the same as me black/white we all are three years of age apart. Both of my parents are white (the ones that I live with now.) I never ever met my real mom or dad or even saw a picture of them. I'm too afraid to ask my parents. I have no friends and are constantly lonely. Which is why I resorted to videogames about a year ago on the ps3 (my brothers) I guess you could say I got addicted, I enjoyed playing a gmae called lotr conquest, but it ended.
So I resorted to a new game call of duty modern warfar two. I felt like I could be myself there I could be the loud, outgoing, carefree person that I am and have always wanted everyone to see. I talked on the mic everyday on that game, made friends, told people I was really 17, had online boyfriends, and even sent naked pics of myself over some peoples phone number I got off the ps3. And even posted a fake picture of myself up on facebook. I'm too ugly to be looked at..not photogentic at all.I love playing that game and talking on the mic and actually feeling like I have friends.
But that all ended yesterday, my mom found me up playing at 5am in the morning got really mad cause she said we had church today and hit me and yelled and called me names. My mom makes me feel like crap. I know nobody really loves me at all. I often have thoughts of suicide but I'm too scared to actually go through with it. I often feel like doing it soooooo bad, I know nobody will care. I'm ugly. I know that I'm ugly. And I can't change it. In the 6'th grade (last year) I actually had friends and I wasn't shy, one of them got mad at me and the whole group of people started hating me. Last year I also had a really good friend...but she moved away. I got asked out by guys last year, but never said yes, my parents always tell me I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 17+. I wish I had friends soooo bad but I'm shy and ugly nobody wants to look at me.
Through my early childhood years I believe I was molested by my brother. I won't go into detail. I am a very religious person I guess you could say and am going to wait to have sex after marriage I hope. I love God and he loves me. I believe God and my dog are my only friends. Nobody will ever love me. I wish I had somebody to talk to but I don't. And also my mom took away the videogames forever. My life is over it seems. Videogames was a stress reliever for me and now they're gone forever. What do I do? I've always done good at school....but am thinking I should let my grades drop...nomore videogames ever...at all. I'm a worthless piece of trash, what do I do? People on the ps3 know me as a happy,loving,outgoing and fun person. People in real life know me as a shy and ugly person.
Please respond here or message me if you wanna talk....
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First, if you ever want to talk more message me anytime.
I think part of why you feel like this is you're creating such a huge double life. I've done the same thing, started when I was your age actually. Why do you tell people you're hispanic? Do you want to meet your biological parents? You say you're ugly, but you also said guys asked you out last year. If they didn't like your looks and personality, why would they ask you out?
Don't worry about your parents not allowing boyfriends until you're older, most parents do that. Mine do too, although I think their rule was no boyfriends until 15 or 16. Don't remember lol.
Please don't send naked pictures of yourself to anyone. I know you hear this alot, but it really is dangerous. I know adults say that kind of stuff alot, but I'm not much older than you (I'm 17), does that help?
I know how hard it is to be really shy and not have friends. So until you make friends, which you will, I'll be your friend
Don't let your grades drop! Think of it this way: good grades=college=boyfriend and friends!
Obviously you can still use the computer, there are websites with games that aren't as good as what you used to play, but theyre better than nothing. One is
www.omgpop.com, some are pretty fun. Just be careful not to play too much, you don't want to be banned from computer too.
Have you tried making friends at church?
I hope you feel better soon, and remember you can message me anytime you want to talk, about anything