Your wife smokes. That is one problem. You are upset about her smoking. That is two problems; one too many. I think the smoking issue is a manifestation of a much deeper frustration. Life is hard. Life is not fair. You are facing the death of your wife. You are in emotional overload.

As the others have suggested, you might need to look at how all this stress is affecting you. You cannot control the course of your wife's illnesses and apparent apathy, but you can choose to look out for yourself before you become a second problem.

Good luck.