A long time ago with an different T, I used to have that kind of fantasy. I think it was a containment fantasy because i felt so out of control and wanted my T to comfort me. I once did run around her office like a crazy woman and she just got mad and made me leave early.

Have you ever told kt about your fantasy? I wish I couldve just told it instead of trying to act it out because i think it says something important, yet doing it only stressed her out. But I think she could have helped me better if i talked about it honestly.

If i allow myself to indulge in fantasies about my current T, they are more around me trying to help her instead of the other way around. I think i would like to find myself in a position where she is in need of me, for whatever reason. I don't know what that is really about.

I really admire your honesty about what goes on inside you rainbow. Even when you know it might be risky, you disclose it because you really want to learn and change. I know you said you feel crummy and shouldn't have used that word in your other thread, but i say yes you should!! Your open-ness will only help you to find the answers you are looking for.