Ugh, well I am up and down right now. Had a good day all around today, though still not right. I talked to the program in TX again today and got every bit of info I could possibly think of. It's $1200 per day for a minimum 6 weeks. It would be so comprehensive and professional people like me. Some educational groups (more like they talk, we listen) many small group sessions and creative arts groups. There would be individual therapy at least 2 times per week, you would see the pdoc 2 times per week and their staff is all hired by them and work 100% of the time for them and aren't cycling between private practice and all that. There's a pdoc available 24/7. Sounds like a terrific program. I know no one could possibly predict that if I go to this program I will come out and be 'cured' or 'stable' may be more appropriate. I don't possibly see how I could come out feeling worse. ANd I have to learn something from all that therapy (literally 8 hours per day for 6 weeks). Couldn't possibly go through that and get NOTHING out of it.

I have talked with some friends about it these past few days. I decided today to talk with my sister as I felt like she would keep this secret from the rest of the family right now. I was telling her about it and she was confused b/c she thinks everything is fine but then when I was telling her what my actualy symptoms were she was like, "I think this is an absolutely acceptable use (of the $50,000 I have available) and I you don't spend it I almost want to get the money for you and send you." She felt like my family would be supportive but the thought of telling them my true symptoms is really scary. I'm going to put this aside at this point. I will revisit it in like 2 months and see where I'm at then. It's hard to make any decision when my head isn't working right! Thank you all for your input. I hope you know it's greatly appreciated.