Mary Alice,

It really makes me mad that they are paying the other guy more than you. I guess if you didn't know maybe it wouldn't matter. Maybe somebody left that paper there because they thought you should know. No, I think it still matters. You do a better job and are more qualified than him. It isn't right. Maybe he negotiated better, but still...

Sorry it didn't go well with your T. I agree with him in wanting a better life and happiness for you. Even though we get comfortable where we are, life could be better, couldn't it? Still, pushing you to make progress faster than you are able to deal with won't work. Maybe he is just trying to offer you a higher goal than the one you have for yourself. I do understand where you are coming from. I've been depressed so long that I don't know how to deal with not being depressed. Still, it's got to be frustrating for therapists when they keep trying to offer help and show us the way out of that hole and we just keep sitting down again and digging it deeper. I don't think it is that he wants to hurry up and finish with your treatment so that he can brush you off, but more that he cares about you and doesn't like to see you keep suffering. When he said that you can see him as long as you want to I think that indicates that he is willing to go at your pace, and when he said that the professional relationship will not be permanent he is also right because eventually it is important for you to move on and make other friends in your real life, at least at some point in the future.

I'm also dreading the end of the relationship with my T. Through the summer I was afraid that he would think I was doing too well and didn't need him anymore. If I get into graduate school I won't be in a place where I can see him anymore, as he doesn't go to any of the places where I would be. That scares me. But the thought of being rejected and not being able to go to graduate school scares me more.

Life really can be better if you let it. I want a better life for you, and happiness, like you have when you play with Alex and see him happy.
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=green>"Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible." -Jane Rubietta</font color=green>