I did, I went and took a drive downtown and sat at the park for a few minutes. Didn't have enough gas to keep riding the roads so I came home. My sister has locked herself in her bedroom and won't open the door and my dad is giving everyone the silent treatment like a child. I'm always put in the middle of every fricken thing that goes wrong in this house. If I'm not in the middle of my mom and dad fighting, it's my sister and dad. If it's not them, it's me and daddy fighting and having everyone gang up on me.

My mom says she can't trust me because of my relapse and addiction. I'd understand if I went behind her back and used and stole money from her or lied to her, but I didn't. Not this time. I told her me and my sister was going to a friends house, which we did. I told her I didn't know what we'd be doing, which I didn't know until after we got there. I didn't have to tell my mom I relapsed, I could have hidden it from her, but I didn't. I told her straight out, yet she can't trust me? What the hell? And my dad laughs in my face and says, "I knew you'd give in again. You're just not strong enough to stay clean. You have no will power." I swear I wanted so bad to kick him in the crotch really hard! My addiction has nothing to do with being strong, it has nothing to do with will power... It has to be with being SMART and will power isn't even a part of recovery. I have a disease, it's called addiction. He doesn't know the first thing about recovery and how hard it is to stay clean, especially when dope is brought around you.

GRRRRR! Someone shoot me now.