I think we all have different ways of protecting ourselves, and that can play a role too. For example, some people tend to dissociate a lot, and this may be a tendency that begins young. Dissociating in response to abuse is very common. So maybe one child dissociates when abused and doesn't even remember a lot of what happened, and another child identified with the abuser. Probably other strategies too. I don't think the child who dissociates instead of identifying with the abuser necessarily has more insight but is just instinctively doing what works for her/him. I expect that the answer to why some identify and some don't is not just one answer, but very individual to the child and the situation.