I was reading this group hand out at 2am and was kinda shocked, alarmed, and triggered. Think about your death, visualize it, now what is after it? what is life like with it? We were all kinda weirded out by this. Today some guy commented on it in group and she said we'd talk about it. At the end, she nearly didn't and i asked her to explain! She said "has anyone in here thought about their death?" 4 of us raised hands and I heard myself say "only every day!" and then put my hands over my mouth. She said "let's do this excercise together then, kiya" but i was like "is this a positive... a negative...?" She moved on to someone else lol. The T even told us hers. She didn't think the excercise was a difficult thing @_@ boy did we all prove her wrong!
It really weirded me out... as i already deal with sui ideation all the time. but i guess what she was saying is that to live fully, sometimes something in us has to die (like a shaman thing). but still, it weirded me out.

I did some trauma work tonight on my own, and really had to excercise some caution around today's visualization.