I hope you're feeling somewhat better today?
If you can admit that your pdoc is lousy, please try find a new one. I think they often don't realise what a life bouy role they play in our life, and how we cling to them for an answer. Mine is awesome like that - I can phone her and tell her if I have a major concern and she will send a script to my chemist, at least until I can get in to see her. Sometimes it may require a med change, and at other times maybe just some Benzo's to see me through this time period.