Thanks for being so sweet Suga. I have a big dilemma with my pdoc as (1) I've been seeing him for almost 6 yrs for meds and "therapy" (2) I live in small town Mississippi [this is literally the poorest state in the US and we have NO resources, like doctors or therapists]. My pdoc services a HUGE area and travels between many offices, so my time with him is very limited. But I have no other options, there are no other docs here, or any where close to here. I've been through a huge long post where I got tons of great advice, but it just comes down to what's available, he's the only thing here, so I am stuck.

Anyway, I am still manic as hell. At one point yesterday I was so nutz that I was talking so fast I could barely understand myself and I know I was freaking out the neighbor kid (she's 14-not the annoying family) whom I was talking to about her pool problems. I was (obviously) running off at the mouth, sweating, short breaths, ug, just the whole can't shut the **** up mania crap. I finally settled myself down at about 1am last night and I did manage to make myself stay in bed until 7:30. I didn't sleep the whole time, but I stayed there trying. And thankfully, I am on 1 mg xanax 3 times daily (or as needed, depending on how I am at the moment). So that does help me to calm down enough to sleep a bit sometimes.

Miraculously, I have not killed my fish yet. And they are not acting like the are suffocating anymore. I also managed to rig up a wonderful contraption on my pool skimmer that has filtered 99% of the iron/rust out of the water. Now I have to figure out some sort of tent/curtain thing to put around one end of my pool for shade (even in the pool its so hot here that you nearly cook, not to mention the horrible sun burns...) and to keep the fricking neighbor kids from standing there staring at us because I won't let them swim. Too much responsibility entailed to let other people (non-family swim in the pool). Thankfully I have a fence, but it starts probably 20 feet from the pool, so they will literally stand (or hang) from the fence and stare at us.