I found it interesting that you chose the word "cheating" to describe seeing another T in response to being unable to deal with your erotic feelings toward your regular T. Maybe your decision to see another T really was straightforward because you needed another perspective, but it's also possible that you are unconsciously replaying something from your past. Maybe, like Perna said, this experience can set the stage for further discussion with your own T at a pace that's not too uncomfortable for you.