You are definitely not alone! I'm going to have to journal about this; I've always had that floating around in the back of my head but never fully realized how often I think things like that until you posted this. Thank you for sharing! I don't wish it on anyone to feel this way, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.
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From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too."