Thanks you guys.

And no, sugahorse, I don't make him the only thing in my life. I try really hard to interact with my friends. They push me away, which is part of the reason I'm feeling this way. Friends I've had for beyond 7 years or so, are getting boyfriends, pulling away, or simply not contacting me at all.

My family does have a situation I'd rather not speak about in public, I'm only comfortable talking about it to people who wanna give advice instead of take action. That's my job. I don't trust therapists, the reason is because of my age, they promise to keep it secret, but they lie, and tell my parents. This has happened before. And I have a lot of things I'm ashamed of that I'd rather my parents not know right now because all they would do is misunderstand and get mad at me for things that are not my fault.

For instance; the first boyfriend I had raped me and took my virginity when I was barely 14 and it still affects me sometimes, and I'm afraid to tell my mom because she thinks I lie about everything that comes out of my mouth, she'd accuse me of lying and says I had sex with him all the time, and would ban me from my current boyfriend, who has helped me out and respected and understood me more than anyone has in a really long time, and he and his friends are trying to lead me through this period of my friends abandoning me and my family problem. I hate having to keep secrets, and if I talk to people about that kind of stuff they see me as someone with problems and push me away. I don't get it.