(((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))

You can do it, and you ARE doing it. Wow. You are so brave!

I remember when I was telling my story to T, I would feel SO icky and gross and scared after sessions. For me, it helped to go to my next session and see that nothing had changed. *T* didn't think I was icky or gross. I sometimes e-mailed or called between sessions because I was so scared he was going to send me away or like me less or whatever, but the only thing that REALLY made a difference was going and sitting in that room with T and being accepted and cared for no matter what.

It seems like I've finally internalized that T's feelings about me aren't going to change based on the things that were done to me. And that T doesn't think I am icky or gross, and never will. It took time.

Hang in there. You are doing it...and that is HUGE.