Today after my session, my brain kept doing a LOT of processing. And somewhere in there, I realized how much I have changed since starting therapy. It almost gives me goosebumps. I called T and left a message and told him some of it, but it just feels SO BIG that I'm not sure I really said what I wanted to say. I'm sure he got the general idea.

I thought maybe we could share some ways that we've changed since starting therapy.

- I've learned to TRUST T. Really, really, really trust him. He's probably the first person I've ever really trusted.
- I am less scared out in the world. I used to be consumed by fear, always expecting something really bad and scary to happen. I almost never feel like that now.
- I've told someone my WHOLE story. All of it. I've never told anyone, and I've always been alone with it. I've told, and I'm still alive, and okay, and cared for.
- I'm learning what it feels like to be cared for because of who I AM, just because I'm me. T has told me that he never wants anything that he does to seem like a reward for good behavior. He says he loves me not for what I DO, but for who I am. I think I'm just starting to internalize that. What a huge gift that is.
- I'm starting to trust other people a teeny tiny bit. I've told bits and pieces of my story outside of therapy.
- I haven't cut since Thanksgiving, 2008! I almost never have to use eating disorder behavior anymore - it is SO rare. I've given up an addiction, and learned how to lean on people in my 12 step program for help.
- I'm just now starting to really let down some of my walls. I feel vulnerable, but it feels okay. I feel like someday I will let love in from someone besides T instead of always keeping my protective shell up. I hope that someday I'll believe that it's okay for me to be loved.

I'm sure there's more, but those are the first things I thought of. Want to share yours??