I love the analogy of the unruly horse on the racetrack. Beepers are so often clever, but if we could just harness our thoughts, we'd be better off. And we're thoroughbreds!! lol

I am an 11 years sober alcoholic in AA. Got sober at the start and have never busted with booze. We say with booze that while we still have the disease of alcoholism within us, and that recovery is contingent on a daily program of recovery for the rest of our lives. And that is true for me, and I don't doubt that if I continue to do my AA program for the rest of my life I will never drink again. (Yes of course a lot of people will say it's a day at a time)

But mental illness is a much harder matter - much harder to master. There are so many more variables at play that we can't control: our own brain chemicals, which can go out of whack for no particular reason and get us very very sick very very quick - and this is while being a 100% compliant patient with psychiatry and meds, with psychology (I have two psychologists I work intensely with). And of course AA does have some crossover benefits too - especially the Inventory process which works really well alongside psychotherapy.

But there is also the huge stigma, gossip, bigotry rejection and fear about mental illness that comes not just from the wider society but those people closest to us in our lives - for me it has been absolutely corroding to the soul.

There is also the variability of meds and what works and what doesn't - the years long guinea pig scenario - and then you hit a meds mix that works and those brain chemicals shift again and it's back to the drawing board - and that happens again and again - not to mention all the complex side-effects.

And then there is the variability of the qality of treaetment from psychiatrists and psychologists. I was grossly mis-prescribed by psychiatrists for 6/7 years and nearly died as a result.

And back to that stigma and rejection - if being an alcoholic, even a sober one causes rejection and fear TRY MENTAL ILLNESS. In my experience (and I was a blackout drinker for 18 year until I got sober 11 years ago) the rejection and fear around addiction is not even in the same league as mental illness. We get relegated to the very edges of society - the absolutely most dangerous place for us to be - being part of a strong social support network is one of the huge indicators of the likely success of a person with mental illness.

I don't have such a network so right now I depend on my mental health clinicians abut I am trying to transition to a new life with new social support netwoks.

I do believe that it is possible to gain a great deal of recovery from mental illness - the Plastic Brain Theory says that we can. But I also believe that for me anyway, with my backstory and my brain function, I will always have Bipolar and panic and anxiety disorders (and newly learned I have OCD). So I'll keep doing the drill.