(((( shaggy )))) & (((( byz )))) -thanks for the posts

well, some reasons that kind of scare me when thinking of talking to my parents...
>my older step-sister was/is (i dont know/talk to her really anymore) a cutter, but she didnt hide it and my brothers had told my mom&stepdad about it after one visit to my dad's. they were disgusted with her and called her *unmentionable* words

>i used to go to therapy when i was way younger because i'd gotten trichomillania (oh gosh, im prolly horribly off on spelling, but its when you pull your hair out and stuff). and i wasnt exactly the most cooperative kid (i was like 8 and afraid to speak to strangers and plus, guy therapists have always just freaked me out), and my mom thought it was a waste of money because me and T went nowhere basically.

>we're not exactly in the bestest place with money right now, so that would be a problem

>honestly, im just a big fat chicken and im afraid to always ask for help -irl at least; i just dont want to ask and what if there's no turning back once i do? what if they say no, and then i've got nothing, absolutely no hope? what if they say yes, and then i see T, but then i regret it later if something happens? -i dont like telling people irl about my SI issues (and other new stuff) because once i do, there's no turning back and i can never take it back.

>also, i guess ive been a bit more quieter (okay truthfully, i dont leave my room unless i have to and that goes for speaking too), and when i do talk, its not in the best tone. well, on monday (or was it sunday?) that my mom silently yelled at me at walmart that i need to get over whats been wrong with me in last few months and that nobody likes a cruel b***h like me and that i needed to be polite in public and i need to stop staring when she's yelling&to be good girl. she's *not exactly* a sympathetic person and she doesnt really care why i dont talk more& whats been wrong but more of my appearance to the outside world.