thinking on this more, i guess at least one thing that has to "die off" is my constant worry that i'll get so overwhelmed i'll sui. I always think doing trauma work will put me over the top.
I also tend to use sui as a "back door" option on life... that probably needs to die off too. But then I also realized that I'm afraid to truly grasp life fully because I expect that if/when I do, I'll get death as a bachlash; either murdered, killed in an accident, or a terminal health proclamation.
Weird, eh?