Your childhood sounds similar to mine. I always had a fear of losing my mother also and that I had to take care of her. I still feel that way even today. More recently I feel this way because my mother lost her brother early last year and then lost her mother last november. Now more then ever, I feel I need to take care of her even though she is remarried and has 2 younger children (my brother and sister).

As far as Self Esttem books, you can check out the following:

Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem

By: Marilyn J Sorenson

I do struggle with self esteem issues as well, as I think much of us do here. I also suffer from depression, panic disorder and OCD. What a combo .

I hope you get some good advice here.

Welcome to PC, BTW. Glad you found us