I do completely hate for people to touch me or really just be near me or hell, even talk to me! But you are so right, I do want to break down and cry and just get held. But this is the insane **** that goes on in my head, everything is a contradiction, so there is no way I can give my husband advice on how to deal with me, because nothing he does will be right.

Griz, I am going to write up some instructions. I kind of made up what I am doing by looking at some pics and working it out by trial and error. I'll pm the instructions to you when I get them finished.