on the other hand, if you are wanting her to be an outside T instead of herself so you can just discuss dispassionately, and not get so emotionally involved in the discussing, I would say, just talk to her directly, let the emotions show; my T says that the emotions have to come out WePow, it won't be helpful if you dodge them by addressing them to a nonexistent T. The rupture is between the two of you,; if you set her up as an outside T, the rupture won't be worked on. (I know this isn't what you prefer to hear probably but I am giving you what I've been through. Ruptures hurt; but they serve an important purpose. Ask Treehouse)

Even if there are emotions, I'm sure you willl maintain yr respectful dealing with T as another human being. If you fear that you will lose that and just roar then by all means warn her ahead of time and assure her that you do have respect for her, despite your volume. Beem there, too......

hugs to you