(((garden gal)))

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through right now. Change is so hard. But it often means growth too. Sugahorse had a good point about med's Do they ever help you?
Do the very best you can to be gentle and caring with yourself. One of the most calming places for me has been botanical gardens. Do you have anything like that around where you are? It has always been comforting for me to see the beauty of flowers and plants... plus I thought maybe you might feel akin, based on your name. Hang in, garden gal. Sending good wishes your way.