Quote:
Originally Posted by Shangrala
Marjan~
Perhaps, you are so concerned about being hurt again that subconsciously you are sending out negative vibes (like a shield, of sorts), to protect you.
I've followed much of this thread so far, (sorry for not adding my few worths), and I don't think that you are conducting yourself out of order, whatsoever. I don't think it's a matter of what you're doing wrong, as seems to me, your treating yourself as you should...looking out for #1.
However. it is possible that the greatest obstacle you are encountering is your own fear of heartache, which is perfectly understandable....(I cannot deal with heartache at all. I crumble to it).
And maybe, until you come to better terms with your fear, you will not allow yourself the subjection to any possible pain again....?
Just a thought.... 
Shangrala
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Thanks my dear Shangrala....I always appreciate your wise and smart inputs....hope life is good with you
Yes, that's so true....I'm so afraid of getting hurt again....last time with Aaron was really bad....and I handled it poorly....hate to admit that....I was getting crazy, not being able to sleep....and worse thing was getting so cut off into my own pain that I didn't get in touch with my parents that much and then my dad passed away....I would not forget that at all....
I think I'm getting my strength back little by little....
honesty, heart break is like bone break....one needs a lot of time and physiotherapy to walk again....and then he starts walking cautiously....I think that's the same for heart break....
Thanks again....
Marjan