I don't know you, but just from your posts on here you don't seem 'ugly' at all, just the opposite!! You are always quick to offer advice and understanding.
Maybe you do have bad qualities sometimes, but we allllll do. And yeah, mental illness can get in the way of who we "really" are. Like, sometimes I am so moody that I snap at my mum, and it upsets her, but I love her so much, I don't want to be moody, I just get very easily overwhelmed because of all of my emotions right now. It doesn't make it right to be moody, but it doesn't make anything about it evil. I think it's probably the same with you (and probably everyone!).

It's a great thing that you know that is what's on the inside that counts. I've always felt ugly my whole life, and I DO know it's what you are like as a person that makes you beautiful, and I really try to focus on that, but sometimes I lose focus, I guess, and start thinking "gosh I look so ugly, I wish my nose were 'whatever' and my teeth were 'whatever'". So.. I know what matters, but haven't quite been able to feel it completely yet.

Anyway, billi, you seem nice to me. It seems a shame that such a sweet person on the boards would ever think they have evil inside them, or a black heart as you say - you certainly can't have a black heart when you offer such compassion here. What you are like on these boards counts too.

x