great post little*rhino, very cool of you to try to inspire some of us, to share you own realisation and perhaps give us our own realisation!
I've lately come to the same kind of conclusion, and I know I want more! I want to live! I've never been satisfied with just surviving, but I haven't quite found my way to be ok, to live. I'm working on it.
I do feel much better when it's sunny, to be outside in nature... that feels like living, taking in all the beauty. And trying to appreciate my family more, feeling the love more, I've been so moody lately, I want to reconnect with my mum and get the friendship back, to make HER happy again because I think I've drained her of a lot in the past few months. I'm going to work on being a nicer, happier person, someone who other people would WANT to spend time with. If I can be that person, there would be no reason to dislike myself!

Good luck in your own journey, little rhino it's so great to hear this shift inside you has happened and you are taking actual steps to have the life you want.