Thank you all, I know that I can only count on ONE person and that is ME. This comes after a series of other demoralizing events and comments from "loved" ones. A guy told me I was a bully in highschool, my dad wont connect with me unless I deny my mother, my mother tells me I am afailure and my little sister states that I have traumatized her daughter because when she wouldnt stop screaming in the car, I matched her pitch. I didnt touch her just matched her scream so she could hear what I was hearing. And now this from my bf, I have felt like I have been in the Time Zone for going on a year now. I cant depend on other people, ultimately. I do appreciate all your support but, you are correct, I have to accept myself and nothing anyone says will help until then.