Medicated, you are defintely not alone in this. It came home to me recently when I realized that I am actually jealous of people who have been hospitalized. Yes, this may sound crazy, but there you have it. Upon further reflection, it wasn't the hospitalization per se, but jealously over the ability to do this for oneself or of having a support system that cares enough to make it happen when needed. Someone without a paralyzing fear over lack of finances, or paperwork. Because that's my vicious circle and I cannot break out of it. I've tried. So, yes, I do need to be taken care of to break through that. It's also not so much a break from responsibilities as a break to get where I could actually function. I wouldn't mind the responsibilities if my mind could simply deal with... well, anything. And it's not all the time. But when things get bad, I do become helpless and desperately need to be cared for in that way.

(I do, for the first time in my life, have one person who *does* understand and care enough to notice when things are bad. Thank goodness. But we are falling between the cracks right now--short version elsewhere-- and it's just really hard.)

The title of the thread is interesting. Secret? Well, only because I can't say it aloud. Craving to be cared for? Yeah, that.