field, i still feel compassion for you and respect that you want to heal both parts of yourself. that takes tremendous strength and courage.
jmo, but many people have described violent fantasies here on PC and they haven't been asked to leave. some people have explicitly described rather abusive behaviour also, especially in the context of substance abuse/intimate relationships. ive benefitted from our previous interactions a lot and i'd be sad if you were no longer welcome here.
i do believe we all need a place to learn and gain support. without knowing the nature of what you do i guess it does make me feel a bit unsafe and i can guess that others here would feel unsafe also, regardless of whether admin okayed it or not. i do hope if you stick around that PC is still useful (and safe) for you and others here. if not, maybe finding a forum specifically for abuse might be useful for you to continue getting support. many abuse-specific support forums also have areas where members can discuss and get support on stopping the cycle. if i can think of any specifically i will send you a pm, but the first one that comes to mind is rather triggering for me and i wouldnt want to send anyone else there either.
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