((((((((WePow))))))))

On the one hand, I think it's important to talk about what you need to talk about HOWEVER you need to do it. Like SpottedOwl, I almost always talk about the SA when I was little as happening to "her", not "me". Because I just am where I'm at, and I can only do what I can do. I need to talk, and if that's how I need to do it right now, it's okay. And it's okay for you to talk to T however you need to.

On the other hand...one of the most empowering things in therapy for me has been working through ruptures with my T. We have had some HUGE ruptures, and some smaller ones, and everything in between. The first time we had a rupture, I spent the weekend in tears - I was inconsolable - because i was so scared to go in on Monday and talk to him about what happened and how it made me feel. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote a letter to him until I had all of the words that I needed to be able to talk about it. On Monday, I just went in, took a deep breath, and DID IT. It was scary.

T didn't get angry, or shame me, or tell me to leave, or anything like that. He listened very carefully, and considered what I was saying very seriously. He sincerely apologized. He joked that he should just shut down his practice (because it was such a ridiculously horrible session). That was over 2 years ago, and we've talked about it since then...he told me that because of what I told him, he's changed how he does therapy, and gives himself more of a transition time after meetings and between clients, especially ones that trigger his own issues. (the bad session was after a meeting that he had).

T's openness when I talked to him made me feel SO much safer about bringing up other things when they happened, and we have always managed to work through whatever comes up. I really think that in some ways that is why we have the relationship that we do...we've had to do a lot of work *together*.

I'm glad you're going to bring it up, however you do it. It is okay to let T (or anyone else) know when they hurt us in some way. Good for you, WePow