guys, i'm still here. just managed to have a much needed sleep and let all the emotions escape me for a short while. then had some wine and really got into bed. there have been a few personal issues, with my horse leaving, exams tomorrow, working killing me - couple this with meds that seem to not be working. The people around me who I lean on for strength have got major issues in their life, therefore cannot be there for me, and it upsets me equally to see their pain.
Not at work today as I'm supposed to be on study leave, very tempted to take another sleeping tab and sleep the day thro. I know it's just another cycle and it too
will end, but it doesn't make it any easier nor less painful.

I'm 2 hours ahead of GMT, so it's just before 10AM here.

Thanks all for your concern - it's really special to know that people who don't really know you can still care the way you do.

If it wasn't for exams tomorrow, i think i would have booked myself into hospital. I just always tend to get so severely depressed when i do get down, there's no real middle of the line